here goes the sexy life of mine.....

time goes by soo fast.....

Sun, 22 May 2005 14:06:32 GMT

GOOD MORNING!
It's a brand new day! gotta pack some last things...dress up for the ResidentAdvisor's Banquet..(who knows maybe i'll get an award...?!?) thats happening at the Mills at 11am..and then come back to wait for my two favorite men in my life (my dad and my brother, who else were u thinkin about?) so that they can help me move out of heeeeeeeeere! I cannot wait! It's sad w/out residents..it's for the first time in a looong time...QUITE?! haha
well i cannot believe i made it this far ..i got 4grades out of 7 back, this far. And My GPA (Grade Point Average) is still balanced as last semester..Thank GOd! hopefully it'll get higher w/the other grades so i can get the scholarship to live for free in Virginia/Maryland next year..cause yup!

I GOT ACCEPTED Into the Washington Center!!!!!!!!
I GOt into the Law and Criminal Justice Program of Washington D.C. and the apartments are in SOuthern Maryland and Northern Virginia...so i'm hoping to be living as close to D.C. as possible..maybe Arlington or something..we'll see...all that i know is that for the first time i'll be out of this state by MYSELF! It's scary..but i cannot wait to put myself out there.

oh crap ..i lost track of time..gtg b bk later to say it all......
xoxo

It's a new history..

Thu, 19 May 2005 07:10:44 GMT

so it's 2:38am and i cannot, just cannot sleep. I just watched "the Notebook" and i'm listening to some low music..what else is new, you may ask.. alot. Since last time i wrote, i remember being happy.. nothing else but that. Now all i feel is emptiness, like a huge rock fell onto me and broke me in thousand of pieces, leaving me with just a huge deep hole of sadness and hate. I dont know whether to hate him, his actions, or both. I dont even know how to hate, i could never hate anyone in my life. But love hurts. It hurts deep when its felt real. I felt as if life was starting to be perfect for the first time in a long, long, long time. And it hurts. Who would have thought that one day, an unreasonable day, you 'd wake up and say i aint worth the time or the 20 dollars to spend that time with me. Who would have thought your love was based on our differences, how much you dont want to travel and how much you just dont want to do anything with your life. He says I have a future, and he says he has no future...i'm sorry but God put you, us, in this life to make miracles, to make others happy, to help one another feel cared for and special enough to make someone laugh or enjoy that one special moment. And they happen. Plenty of special moments happen..but how many of them are truly special, when all that's cared for in this world is a relationship based on money, on self-esteem , (such as i'm not good enough for u, or ur not good enough for me)..what is all this?
How can you say you love someone and take it all back? how ? how do u laugh and laugh and care, and then 33hours later neglect it all, destroy it all?
Maybe as some others have said, i scare people off with my big heart. I love and care to much for someone to actually risk something for me, to actually put their emotions and feelings first, instead of their fears and their actions of immaturity. Maybe i get close too fast, but i can't help but show how I feel. I can't hide my happiness or my doubts, i can't look someone deep in their eyes and LIE. I cannot. I have values and I have respect.
My family grew me up with those important personality traits. I see no reason for someone to look at me, to touch me, to kiss me, to keep me so tight and close, and then ..LIE. Whether is for self worth or for my own good, the decision is never shared. It's just made and approached. I hope to God that this decision, in which i had no part of, will be well appreciated sometime down the road. I pray to God that i will find the man that would do anything for me and that will not be afraid to love and to risk his doubts and past to create something more deservable for himself and for me.

to my sister Annalisa:girl you are my world. It's good to know that i have you in my life and that i always will. I'm sorry for putting you aside to care about myself, that is the worst thing i 've ever done and i'll make it up to you hun. i know i havent been there much but you're growing up so much and it's so good to hear that you understand how i feel and how hard it is to handle this far away from you. It's probably the first time you dont see me crying in front of you for stupid shit like this. i love you hun, always know i appreciate it and that i'm ALWAYS and WILL ALWAYS be here for u. Blood on Blood sista.

Victoria, thanxs for sticking up with me day and night, sobbing or laughing. I owe u so much... but all i can do for now is thank you, so Thank You for being the bestess friend, to which honestly was never failed to be pursued, thank you for giving me advice and for keeping my head up while driving back up here far away from pain. It hurts , it hurts so much to be treated like this , but i know that I made it this well because of you. Your life has now changed so much since November..but you're still the brave, sympathetic, amazing girl i met in GHS freshmen year homeroom. I just wish i had gotten to know you better then..but I thank our writing hobby for bringing us together to work on that movie and become closer friends ever since that day. I wish you the best of luck, though seeing you so responsible and happy makes me happy. Our double dates and our parties could never beat anythin else in my life here in the USA for the best couple years. Thank you for undestanding me all the way and for treating me the same,thanxs for giving me the courage to discuss, to let it out, to just wake up to reality. Thank for being there for me Vi. love ya girl!!

Mike, my dearest love, i dunno what i would do without you either. LL3. So many memories, so much time wasted, so much time spent avoiding the fact that we are unique and that we need each other. You are one of the most trustable person i could have in my life, sad or happy. We are a second version of "Will and Grace". I'll never forget our times together, i'll never forget the laughter. I thank you for growing up with me, for sharing the mistakes we've both accomplished throughout those past couple years.I'm glad we're finally back on track with ourselves..or at least for now. Until July..Dora u bitch! > I could never thank you enough...from mall walks, to Gtown walks,to Semi-formals,to highway cops, and underage driving, to summer fireworks, to hugs, to sob phone chats, to laughter, to thousands of minutes on the phone, to boys to girls, to boys..to family issues to us issues. We've gotten so far, i can't believe its been this long. Shaws will always being in my heart..what would you have done w/out that job?you would have NEVER FOUND me! Love you kiddo!

To everyone that's been close to me (Annalisa,Vicky,Mike,Kristin,Claudia,Sean,Alicia,Evan,Bryan,Beth,Rachel,Pat, and those who've asked..)for understanding how hard life can really be and for knowing when to make me smile, 'cause u know that when i lose that, i lose myself. It's hard to know when to approach someone, or what to say, but let me tell you:
to know that you're there, whether u want to hear about it or not, to know that someone is there with arms wide open even to just give a hug, to share similar feelings, to smile.. that is the value of a friend.

To the author of "The Notebook" , Mr.Nicholas Sparks: i 've read the novel while i was learning English and i didnt quite get the sensation until i saw the movie arms on arms with my boyf. Paul. It was nice to know that i wouldn't go through that decision or that pain not while being with him at least. But that was a lie. It was a complete lie. Its been over a week and half of sorrow, pain, and disappointment. To know that half of the decision was up to me and had no control over it, to know that it was not just about us, but it involved others, to know that you have the greatest thing in your life, and then let it go..
it just feels like a dream..but I thank you Mr.Sparks for making me realize the true value of a relationship. NOt just about love, not just about family or friends, but the true value of knowing someone and know that, that someone would do the impossible and would promise to do the impossible for happiness with hope and courage. I thank you for enlighting my life towards the hope for a better future....and towards a new feeling of love.

Gnite..and if you have not yet seen "The Notebook" .. i suggest you watch it, otherwise you will just not understand.

kewl female sites......

Fri, 04 Mar 2005 06:45:10 GMT

Some other sweet sites! hehe.. i just cant sleep tnite!

http://www.yournewromance.com/howdomenseeyouquiz/

http://www.yournewromance.com/kindofchocolatequiz/

kewl site

Fri, 04 Mar 2005 06:41:32 GMT

http://www.yournewromance.com/italianguy.html

Hey girls! i thought this was an interesting site...check it out!
it's certainly in my blood...but .. damm..
my heart got stolen by a French-Canadian...argh! hehehe
xoxo Ciao!

so..

Fri, 04 Mar 2005 06:28:04 GMT

I'm Back! holy crap it feels like Feb. sooo flew!
and it did! thank you! thank you ! thank you! this means i'm going to be home sooner then soon, and that summer is quickly approaching> meaning HEAT!
I cant wait to get rid of all those jackets that occupy soo much space in my closet! hehe..and open toes! yay! my feet will finally breathe again!

anyways.. today i started my 1st home visit with two of the best Probation Officers! Phil and Peter! they are excellent and fun! they also brought me out to dinner into this sexy hotel's restaurant...but hey! why say no?~! hehe
I'm really enjoying my internship this semester, i feel like i got another family! everytime i'm there i get closer and closer w/each different individual! unlike the IRC> a complete failure to my course schedule. I mean of course I learned something, I also know what I dislike now, for Sure!
But not matter how creepy going over Criminal houses (being sex offenders and drug addicts) and home shelters were, I still enjoyed it. It's really tough to be a girl in society> when a guy sees a woman he thinks everything will go well, not knowing that there are good bitches out there to straighten this ugly nasty insane world! so guess what?...I think i'll become one of them at some point..hehe..
I'll Make you all proud!

anyways..i'm counting the days till spring break! 6days baby! next friday or actually thursday i hope.. i will get to see my baby! I miss u Paul, u dont even imagine how much not matter how much i say it! This tingly inside me won't stop. Whether i think about u , your name, or just by looking at our photo together. Where did I find you? Why couldn't I or you found us sooner?
why going through so much pain in life, when all we need is right in front of our eyes, but
we're just too blind and stupid to go and avoid it, while looking elsewhere the harder way?
i dunno..anyone 's got an answer for me?

anyways.. I love you Mr.M

Well now its time for me to go to bed......my eyes say so.. and i should probably listen to them otherwise...well you know..
G'nite
and
Dream of your Sweet..
Dream.

~Peace~and~Love~

baCK IN the States~!

Tue, 22 Feb 2005 21:27:44 GMT

Ohw
OH i'm finally back home! well ..here..almost home in 3 days!
Toronto was amazing! expensive, but excellent! i met great people and the fun never stopped, well except when people that are over 20 create high school memories all over again> people just need to stop taking things too personal and stop Gossiping! we're not in 1st grade anymore>All i wished for was that when i got into a University people were mature and generous> however....now i realize how untrue that hope really is...its rapidly faiding away......

but anyways..i'm still recuperating from this past week..i've never spent so much time at a bar, as much as i 've had since last wednesday...WOW is all i got... oh and ....my tummy hurts...
i miss my hunnie and my friends and family , whom i havent seen for almost 2 weeks..

the trip was exahusting but we won as "best Delegation"! I'm proud of my UML~! We just Rock!

well now its time for me to kick some spanish ass.. i got soo much to do..2 spanish exams, last position paper for NY due tomorrow, RA errands, ME time?? .. and at some point this week i have to had back to my internship>

well i shall be back.............
~Jo'

You Are A Romantic

You are more romantic than 80% of the population.

You life your life like a fairy tale... or at least you try to.
Living for magical moments, you believe there's only one true love for you.
Love is the most important thing in your life, and you don't take it for granted.
Your perfect match loves to be in love as much as you do!

Are You Romantic or Realistic?

http://www.blogthings.com/acro/acronym-outcome.php

its FRIDAY!!!

Fri, 11 Feb 2005 05:18:47 GMT

YAY! now that it's past midnight i can say it's finally "FRIDAY"~!!! YAY!
I love weekends, it's the best cheerful, relieving, peaceful thing that sticks to my mind> the fact that i can drive my baby car home w/me to see my family, friends, and special, most beautiful+amazing boyfriend makes my day so much better and to look forward to.
Having still no time to support my social life at the moment, all taken by my studies and my job on campus kind of irritates me, but the fact that i have someone back home that awaits for me, and some other people that can't wait for my smile to hit their lives, gives me the most incredible feeling of all. Tonight i feel like I could just fly to my boyfriend and just keep myself hugged and glued to him for the rest of the week without getting off. He makes me feel so special, and the trust he's got for me noone else , but my parents has ever had.

But anyways, i'm happy and that is all that matters.
I went to Ash wednesday's mass yesterday and prayed soo much, it just rejuvaneted me~the feeling of peace and love are the most wonderful feelings a human being can ever receive.
This afternoon it started to snow again. What a pain in my ass this winter has been>>>i just hope there's no classes tomorrow.. we shall see..
in the meantime my suitcase for tuesday is almost done> i bought 4pair of shoes and sassy boots tonight> i love them all!! i'm just addicted to shoes! > I CANT wait for wed.> though Paul, God i'm gonna miss ya!
I will do my best to make a few phone calls from Toronto, but i can't promise much because i really don't know how time wise is going to go>the only thing I know is that i'll sure as hell will stay away from some asshole that will be accompanying me along the trip..grr..Can I please switch Paul instead? i'll put him in my suitcase>please anyone?!?!
hehe..
well I will be in the city where my 1st bestfriend was born almost 21 years ago! I cant wait to tell her all about it face to face this summer! hehe CANNOT WAIT!
Gosh>2005 seems long but exciting!
i hope that everyone else is doing well too>
my family kicks ass> and this weekend will too again!
Monday is Valentine's day...I hope this year it will succeed to its best..cause i'm really lovable, but..i don't know if i will receive that same love > we shall see! hehe! i'll keep in track..

last weekend rocked! my uncle finally came back home from nasty Iraq, after a year and half up there<
TO mr.bush hole: thank YOu Fucking BUSH for ruining his year 2004! Asshole!

I wish for every soldier to come home safe and healthy soon> i'm sick of this war..

Lastly>i think i did fall hard this time ..what u think Victoria??...damm soo scared its going to hurt>
u know what they said on the news tonight?> Broken Hearts cause Heart Attacks...i dont want to die of heart attacks..so hopefully i will not be broken hearted anytime soon...hehehe..

love u all, peace and g'nite!
*CIAO*
xoxo Jo'

Wed, 02 Feb 2005 23:43:07 GMT

So ...sunday is finally the last football season game! YAY! that means.......Party on sunday! YAY! i cannot wait to see my Paul on friday so i can spend another beautiful weekend w/him.
Even better my uncle is finally out of Iraq and he'll be coming home with 200 other soldiers! i'm soo proud and sooo thankful to God. My little cousin is going to be soo happy to see her daddy back home!
fuckin Bush deserves to be thrown rocks and sticks of fire upon him.........grrrr hatred..
but i cannot wait to see him! I hope the rest of the soldiers will be home and safe soon too.
in the meantime my Paralegal Practicum (internship) finally began. I went yesterday and it was incredible. There's nothing better then to see "Law and Order" face to face in a real Superior Court. I don't think i've ever seen a dozen of lawyers together before. well .. is it friday yet??
This semester seems painful and stressful , but i'm looking forward to many things to accomplish.
Plus my Paul is being so patient and nice to me, i'm Sooo lucky to have you baby.
I hope everyone else is doing well, now back to some more reading for the night..moreover..
here's my two favorite quotes of the week:

1. I am always doing things I can't do; that's how I get to do them.
-Pablo Picasso:-)

2. An exceptional leader is one who gets average people to do superior work.

and hey >>if you need TO SMILE....check this out peeps!> http://allfunpages.com/todayismiled.shtml

PS: here's to IRC pleasure> "Detailed and credible knowledge of local culture is essential for the effective promotion and protection of rights in any society"

uh..(sight)

Fri, 28 Jan 2005 18:40:05 GMT

damm it's finally Friday and it feels like it's monday!
I can't even breathe yet!

this snow had def. suxed ass this week, cause having days off now means busting the rest of my days to make it up.
Can some1 tell me what the heck i was thinking when i did my schedule and my activities this semester? I'm an early bird senior ready to almost graduate, but damm.. I must have been drunk or high or something....
and my prof. OUch! i'm definitely down the drain right now.. i got no inspiration or desire to go on in those next couple of months. I got the RA beauty career going on 24/7, and i mean 24/7!, plus i now added IRC (International relations Club which deals w/the National Model United Nations representing different countries and agencies with problems and issues to deal with to others) I don't know what was i thinking???? and in my extra boring time (minumum 8hrs/week)i'm also trying to fit into my life my so deserved Paralegal Practicum (Internship >for those of you whom either word don't make sense) working w/a lawyer at the Superior Court in Lowell.
NOnetheless, I got a beautiful Sicilian Family who gives me no rest at when not to go visit, and a boyfriend who misses me soo much, I must see every weekend. My ass is just out of control so i must also hit my blue gym (i dont think its my second home anymore..:( ) at some point during my week or day. So if u get a chance and u see me, make sure u drag me there with you! Please I BEG YOU!!
So here's all for today, I'm ready to yell at the world how much my life sux! but hey..maybe someday it will be worth it... but i dunno if i'll make it....
~Jo'

i guess i'll start tonite/today

Fri, 28 Jan 2005 05:25:37 GMT

So my bestfriend decided to add me to her journal tnite after many many years of unviewing it, so i said, Fuck it why not.....so here i am starting one too!
it's a curse i swear!
well i'm very happy as of right now cause i got the best boyfriend in the world! i can't believe it's really happened.....Thanxs Vicky! haha! luv u girl!
well i'm also a senior at UML and time has flied! i'm almost out of school YAY! forever?!?! haha

TO my Victoria: you're the best! keep it up! you've been there for me for soo many years and i really appreciate it! through my hard, tough, and happy sexy times!Thanks Beast!

To my Daiana and Tiziana in SIcily: I will see u soon girls! i love and miss u both sooooo unbelievably much! couple more months....I can't wait for that hot sun to kiss my skin..i can't wait to see the "piazza" and the adorable couples walking around it; i miss my Home Church too..i can't wait to see everything and everyone.....

well that's it for now.....i will b back at some point.. there's alot to do this semester>call me and keep in touch>
Peace~Josie